Thoughts on character choices...

Good morning Westboro. Today, I am reporting live from the site in which 21 unsuspecting contestants have just embarked on what should be the adventure of a lifetime. Of course, you will all remember that this adventure is one that I myself enjoyed less than a year ago, coming close, but not close enough, to scooping that juicy cash prize.

So, without further ado, shall we take a look at those who are vying for the title of Sole Survivor on Isla Nubar? Here are our opening tribes and what I, Gale Weathers, think of each of our contestants...

Andrew Deluca - All I know is that I want to drink this man's sweat through a straw. What a gorgeous addition to the Survivor Quarantine family. If he's smart, he'll flirt up a storm and use those good looks to carry him through the game.
Bellatrix Lestrange - Crazy recognises and respects crazy. Bellatrix is truly one-of-a-kind. She's someone who could be completely calm one minute and then flip within an instant, so it's going to be interesting to see if we get to experience that side of her here.
Hannah Montana - Hannah lives! I knew that shady Miley Cyrus was lying... Here's an admission: I've never watched a single full episode of The Hannah Montana Show. Awful, right? She always struck me as sickly sweet so I do think she's going to have to watch her back here, if she doesn't want to be taken out early.
Jessica Day - A perfectly fine choice. Someone who may be able to slink into the background early on and sit back whilst the inevitable chaos goes down.
Mr. Brown - I have no idea who this is, good luck!
Yennefer - A queen who would slice you down without so much of a second thought if you crossed her. I personally would've preferred to see Henry Cavill's Geralt here with his hairy pectorals on display but, Yennefer will do him proud, I am sure.
Yimo Tapir - I'm not a furry.

Ariel - A red-headed LEGEND, ladies and gentlemen. I'm very excited to see what she's got. Ariel is somebody you would instantly trust and I'm sure she's making a great first impression. One to watch for sure.
Ash Ketchum - Hopefully, Ash's obsession with catching monsters won't trickle over into dinosaurs. An interesting character choice and honestly can we just put Pokemon to bed now? It's time.
Jade West - I don't watch Victorious but she looks like a bad bitch, so I'm sure I'll stan.
Stewie Griffin - Stewie has plans for world domination so I wouldn't have personally chosen him as a player in a game where trust is everything. He's going to have to work hard to get people to work with him, I think.
Truman Burbank - A hilarious and inspired choice. I want Truman to roleplay the fuck out of their character because it would just be brilliant.
Yelena - Marvel bores me. I'm guessing that's where Yelena comes from?
Zia Rodriguez - Finally, someone from the world of Jurassic Park! Strangely, if I saw her in the game I'd instantly feel a little bit threatened, like she knows more about what's happening than anybody else, simply because of the tie-in to the Jurassic franchise. Hopefully that won't bite her!

Addison Montgomery - Another legendary character choice. Addison was someone most Grey's Anatomy fans couldn't stomach in the early days but, she grew on us like a rash - and then gave us the pills to get rid of it.
Flapjack - The only flapjacks I know are the ones that I shovel down my throat.
Piper Halliwell - Whoever chose this character is BRAVE. They're going to have to do a lot of impressing if they're to live up to the high bar they've set themselves.
Ruby Matthews - A fucking ICON. Ruby does what Ruby likes and nobody can tell her any different. Ruby is someone who has what it takes to go full Gale Weathers. I hope she does me proud.
Sandor Clegane - Not somebody you would want to fuck with. He may draw attention early on and in a game like Survivor, that's never a good thing.
Shemar Moore - More eye candy is never a bad thing! Here's to hoping that Shemar sticks around and shows off all of his best assets throughout this season. Bring it home daddy.
Willy Wonka - His creepy obsession with children and Oompa Loompas always grossed me out but, I do think he has the potential to be a hilarious character.