Thoughts

I've been sitting on this forum for an hour and a half and I've only met one tribemate lol And she left because she's at a movie. I saw Mr. Brown registered, but he's been MIA. I hope they actually show up for this tribal reward comp bc lulz otherwise.

I'm actually pretty nervous about this game. IDK much about Survivor and I just know everyone else here is a pro. I also just feel like a spaz in the "getting to know you" portion of the game. It's my least favorite time, so I'm currently struggling.

I'll do my best to come here and give my thoughts about the game. I'm notorious for never doing confessionals unless I'm forced, so I really want to try and break that tradition. It's just kind of a pain in the ass with nails like talons. If you see a bunch of typos, just mind ya business.

I also hope my job doesn't get in the way. I'm pretty busy from 8:30 to 4:30 most days and I know these people play round the clock. I used to be one of them and I just don't have the capacity for that. So I'm hoping to get to know some people tonight and forge some bonds if they ever get their asses online.

Well fuck. I am so not creative in this way. Plus, no one on my tribe is around. I don't even know how to begin doing this lmao. I'm wondering how I should go about this. Maybe I'll try it myself, but I don't even know what it's supposed to be like. UGHHHHH.

SOMEHOW we only got second place despite that masterpiece Yennefer made I think our team still needs time to get to know one another, but I’m feeling okay with Jessica and Yimo. We’ve been able to chat more than I have with anyone else. Mr. brown annoys the shit out of me for some reason and Yennefer still hasn’t responded to my message in our room. Who knows what goes on there.
Jessica is easy to talk to and we’ve already talked about sticking together even after merge, but it’s very early and I wonder if she’s said that to anyone else. She reminds me of someone but I’m not going to speak that into existence.
Yimo is just adorable. I love the vibes and I love that we can just bullshit around. The sense of humor is a yes from me. I see Yimo going far because of their personality, so now I have to decide whether or not they’re good for my game in the long term.

Trying to play this game while having a full time job is going to kill me. I told people I work at Starbucks so I can feign business and have people understand why I’m not there. Plus I used to work there and it’s an easy lie to maintain.
If these other bitches besides Yimo and Jessica don’t start talking, there’s gonna be a fight. I can understand jobs and lives but it makes no sense to join a game if you don’t have time to play it. Especially something this team-oriented. I know I refuse to carry someone who’s dead weight. I’m looking at you, Hannah, Andrew and Mr Brown.

Yennefer, Yennefer, Yennefer. I just don't know what to think yet. She's so dry, but pulled out a masterpiece last night. I'm hoping I can somehow pull her into this little thing that's forming between me, yimo and Jessica so we can have the numbers in case we end up having to vote someone out. I need to find an in with her. Something that I can use to bond us a little.

I'm really stoned right now, so I'm just talking in circles. Send help.

Nothing really new here except mr brown and Andrew didn’t show up for immunity yesterday. It pisses me off because this is a team game. It isn’t big brother. I need these people to show up to ensure my own safety. I mean, the trio is awesome and Jessica killed it yesterday, but what if there’s another challenge that requires all of us in order to play? We’d be so screwed because Mr Brown can’t fucking understand military time.

Okay so Andrew has been active today. This gives me a little hope for six people tonight. I’m not counting on Mr Brown being here tonight . Everyone aside from the trio seems like a wildcard. I expect any one to just disappear at any point. It makes me nervous because I want us to make it to merge and not get absolutely crushed. In order to become a cohesive team we have to spend time together.

If green team wins again, I’m going to lose my shit.

Well shit. Today started out pretty okay. Mr Brown tried to called me out as a social snake... whatever that means lmao. I'm glad those bad vibes are gone. 

BUT THEN

I got blocked by the damn brown tribe. But why me? Probably because they see I'm always online. It was kind of nice being able to talk to people from the other tribes. Ariel tried to make me think her team isn't always talking. Yeah right. We see ya'll online ALL THE TIME.  I made a joke about dying during the challenge and then I got in a wee little wreck trying to get food from mcdonalds while posting for the challenge. I'm so lucky, I know. It would have been nice to get some sort of advantage. I probably wouldnt have won because I was on my phone and it lags, but I hate giving up. Long story short: I almost died for a challenge today. 

I miss my trio and our annoying little talks bitching about people not showing up. I wonder how many messages I'll be going back to. Those bitches are verbose! I love it though.

Hope you're ok! Sorry about that :/

Morty wrote:

Hope you're ok! Sorry about that :/

I'm all good! It's not your fault <3

When you find out that Christmas Abbott was behind the wheel

She shoulda taken me out. I wouldn’t have had to go through this swap when i just wanna sleep

I really am not feeling this new tribe change. Yet again, no one is ever online. The only person I talk to regularly is Stewie and that feels like it can become contentious at any moment. I like that he's up front, but sometimes it's a little intense. The rest of these bitches can pretty much rot because they're never around. I can't get Yennefer to answer a message to save my life. Andrew is here randomly. Fucking Shemar gives me Mr Brown vibes and I hate it. Sandor is a social threat and I've got to keep my eye on that one and get in close. Willy & Flapjack are nothing to me yet. No real convos have been had. I'm trying, but nothing of substance yet. 
I'm nervous because I don't feel like I have a footing in this new tribe. I feel like I need to get a core group going but I can't because these motherfuckers are MIA and I don't know how everyone feels about everyone else. This is going to drive me crazy.

Back to Yennefer... something about her weirds me out. I wonder what the fuck goes on in her head. I feel like she reminds me of someone I've played with before. I don't know what it's going to take to break that wall and see what she's really like and if we can actually work together.

Andrew being gone doesn’t really affect me. I did enjoy talking to him but he wasn’t really doing anything for the team. I feel kind of stuck in this game with the tribe that I have right now. Everyone acts like they would like to work with everyone. I think the person I’m closest to right now is Stewie, but it’s not the same way it was with the trio.
I don’t know when another swap will happen or merge, but I can’t wait. I want to talk to new people and get to talk to old friends too. I hope that Jessica still wants to work with me when we meet up again; well if we do. Same with Yimo.
If everyone shows up tonight, I fear I’m next if we go to tribal. I’m the most active and people can be threatened by that. I pray it doesn’t come to that because I don’t have the energy to fight for my life today. Let’s make it easy and get Shemar out. But Stewie fights for him so I don’t know. Anyone can go. Just not me.

I'm finding myself really frustrated by this game and it isn't the hosts fault. It's the people that are choosing to be inactive. I get we have jobs, but if you don't have time, don't play. I can't even strategize because no one is ever here. I'm feeling lost and I hate that. Dread fills me up when I think about challenges. I don't want to keep playing for my tribe and losing on top of it. All I can do is keep trying to make myself useful so I don't get voted out yet. But that's not going to get me very far. I just don't know what to do when no one is here lmao. I'm rambling, but that's what happens when I smoke and get in my head  

So with Yennefer gone, I'm the last standing from my old tribe. I don't feel as uneasy as I probably should, but I am worried about being overaligned. I want to work with Stewie and even Sandor most, but I need to keep a good face with the rest, so OF COURSE I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU! THE VIBES ARE SO AMAZING!*gag* No, but really. I cannot wait to merge or swap again. I need some fresh meat to talk to and work with. In a perfect world, it would be me, stewie, sandor, jessica, and yimo. Maybe even Willy, though our chats are like pulling teeth for me, but I feel like that with most people. 

Shemar sketches me out so bad that I want him gone. If we lose, I'm hoping I can convince the squad to take him out. All I know is it better not be me to complete the orange sweep. Back to Shemar... he literally talks so dry and matter of fact to me that I feel like he hates me. And I kinda hate him back. He doesn't participate and then comes in to congratulate people. Like dude fuck off very unkindly. 

Flapjack seems like a wasted spot in the game. Idk what their plan is, but I know our convos don't really go anywhere and it annoys me anytime I see them respond. He and Willy are very interchangeable for me, but it's clear Willy is the better player. I need him on my side for real and not just because Stewie set the group up. I'm trying to be more friendly and familiar, so we'll see how that works out.

Let me find out there’s a plan to purposely mess up immunity. I will lose my shit. I was wondering why they kept messing up yesterday. And then Willy fucked up fire so we would be at a disadvantage. Are they trying to take me out or stewie? I feel like it would be me because I’m the last from orange, but this is fucking stupid. I swear if we lose tonight, I know it’s the tribe sabotaging itself. And I will rage.

Aaaand the wood didn’t get done so I can see the writing is on the wall here

Ugh this is annoying. I really want Shemar gone, but it's looking like if we go to tribal, it'll be Truman. It isn't worth rocking the boat over just yet. I know I told Truman I would have his back, but I said that to everyone lmao a bitch has got to protect herself. I need to make sure I stop overaligning myself, but that can wait for merge. I need as many allies today as I can get. Truman is opening up more and it may be because he feels lost and alone, but I don't get the scary vibes from him that I do from Shemar. I just know Shemar will go far if we let him. I'd take Truman's dry semi-active self over Shemar's DRY, aggressive feeling messages. There's a brusqueness about him I just don't like.
I fucking love Jessica and I'm still so happy she chose me to be in her tribe. I wasn't sure if she would still want to work with me, but she didddddd.
 
I really don't like how I'm hearing that Piper is closer to Shemar. That needs to break, but I'm not sure how yet. I just know I need to approach it with caution so that Shemar doesn't hear about it and come after me. Stress.

Okay so the first thing I want to say is I love you hosts and I'm sorry there is drama going on right now <3 

Not Stewie and Sandor being gone! There goes my merge buddies. I still have Jess and hopefully Yimo, but I wonder about Piper a little.  I can't fully get there with her yet, but I'm trying. 

Zia and Yelena both sent me money yesterday for the extra token task! I was not expecting it, but I will be giving it a lot of thought. I wonder if I should ask Jess about Yelena because she mentioned loving Jess and basically loving me by proxy. Jess hasn't really spoken about her, so I'm curious what that's about. 

I can't wait to get to merge, but I also don't feel ready with Stewie and Sandor gone and Shemar making fucking rooms no one asked him to make. You're not gonna force an alliance on me, bro. Not happening. But I will pretend lmao. My loyalty at this moment is to Jess and Yimo. I worry about Yimo because it's been a while since we've talked, but I also know about his idol, which is nice. Where can I find me one of those? I needs it. 

Truman is so dry and no matter how hard I try to talk, it doesn't change. Sigh. I want to work with him, but he's making it difficult right now.  I can't get Piper behind him because he doesn't respond to her messages lol I might be stuck with fuckass Shemar and I cannot deal with it.